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it is by mistake and design [18 Nov 2020|11:02pm]

disappearing to gain time
flip the shit
spend it worrying where everyone went
are you safe, cause you maybe change me, and
what happens to my safety
if you aint
or didn’t come or came

it may be my way of circling
lack of promise
and fear of mutual. betting too much
faith on what is already almost gone
between lime and patron

nothing disappears though,
no one disappears so
maybe I ought to see a second city
layered beneath this one,
to give my mum a call.

my son will be grabbing at my shoulders
carried cross the streets, the bums
if anythings bleeding at stake for me, it’s him
his clearing conception of the closed buildings

can I lean in as a layer
of clothes you are wearing
and/or not
wearing the walls of your
poor bedroom will
wear the fuck out of them

it’s kind of famous to be
this star crossed
never having learned exploitation
they didn’t teach exploitation
it wasn’t inclusive enough

going to school to fail and pass,
hard and away,
his score is dirty but his hands are clean
experienced doesn’t equal known
forbidden knowledge,
as opposed to?
life hack,
as opposed to?

the gentlest hand installing
a tower of babel to place on our head
the crown derailing communion
in Rudbeck’s garden,
five grand towers
to be mounted in bright summer
night that screams morning
by kids with hard soda cases

off to the evening, comic of the races
all chances are bastards
classes are bimbofying
in mountain dew grass
in ulterior city

double exposure,
as opposed to?
some things you can’t unsee
some people shit brix in eternity
act young and oppose to,
only true high schoolers know the implication of
“who wants a shot?”
and the suspense of
“seeding peers”

deviant art,
as opposed to?
if all goes to nothing
i’ll let the next self in line


There was a conspiracy against
me thanks
to Harvey Weinstein and I was hit
by a truck which was no accident
but attempted murder
and I talk
about that in the documentary
they’re making about my life

as traumatic as possible or it was not true love
the heavy caffeinated steps
or it was not love
maximum deterioration on the street in the middle of the day dropping all belongings so that they scatter and roll under the feet of the people walking normally
or it wasn’t
hate or it wasn't
no more intestines/insides
or it was not
no more music only silence
or it was not true
eternal bureaucracy over asphalt over autism over street crossings and cease to exist
or it was not true love
i just wanna tell you
that no people have war in their countries, or

there’s only one city. stacking slacking
stacking upon itself.
i want to kill you for reading this, and i will.
and myself for all of this. which is not me.
but me in a, hiding, hole in the shape of a character.
that i’m gonna use n abuse the shit out of. hehe
when i’m less tired. there is only one option
to live in. it is by mistake and design.
to rewalk steps in. back and forth.
appearing again and again.
because they are taunting you. or are they escorting
you??? boot down your pant so that you pant and pant
and pant so much more will happen when you get it out
of the…


the end

make the ends meet again

make the end great again

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